An advice & lifestyle column on life as a transwoman
For the last three years I have been struggling to make a name for myself in the porn world. One of the things that was so hard for me was that I was considered a BBW, which hinders you right off the bat in the adult industry. The struggle to hear someone say “yes” was far more difficult than I had ever imagined. I just wanted to be recognized and to show people that Tgirls of all sizes are beautiful.
Back in February, I finally earned my first Tranny Award after years of being nominated. The producers had opened a category for Voluptuous Models and this was a category I finally had a chance at winning. But I still went into it thinking I may not win; I didn’t want to get my hopes up if I didn’t win, though I had rehearsed things in my head of what to say and who to thank if I did.
That night started off amazing because I was again asked to be part of the show as a co-host and interviewer all of the winners backstage. A few of us arrived at the venue before they opened it up to the public and got to socialize during cocktail hour with other entertainers and fans. About half an hour before the show was to start, I had to get into action mode. It was time to start working, meaning run around backstage and prepare with the Grooby staff (which I might add, is an amazing staff who put on an amazing show) to get things in order. As the minutes counted down into seconds, the time came for me to go onstage to welcome the guests to the 6th Annual Tranny Awards (which has been renamed to the Transgender Erotica Awards). I hosted the third year of the event and loved it, so it was great to be invited back to help co-host the show with the amazing Jujubee from RuPaul’s Drag Race. Once the crowd was warmed up and excited I brought on Jujubee and then headed off stage to get into interview mode.
After intermission and some additional co-hosting on stage I went back to interview two winners before the Voluptuous Diva Award category, the category I was nominated in. Out of the three awards I was nominated for, I really wanted this one! Kristel from the Grooby staff came to pull me out of my secluded room to have me present in case they called my name. As I sat there on the side of stage with her, I was feeling a huge emotion come over me. If I win this award, what am I going to say? kept running through my head. I started to feel like I was going to cry. All the nominees were announced and in my head I still didn’t think I was going to win, but all of a sudden they called “Michelle Austin” and I started crying. I was so emotional, and in a little bit of a shock; to me this was like winning an Oscar. I work very hard and produce almost all of my own content. Most of my career was accomplished by me, promoting myself and making myself a name; determined to keep pushing the boundaries for trans girls of all shapes and sizes.
When I get on stage I am shaking, I have no shoes on and all I see are my friends, sisters and brothers standing up and cheering me on. They know how much this means to me and for a moment I am overwhelmed by their applause. I try to compose myself the best I can and tell the audience that since I always heard “NO” from so many companies that I basically had to do it on my own. I dedicated my award to all the girls and guys out there who also heard the word “NO!” because you should never let “NO” stop you from following your dreams. I also said, “If they won’t shoot you, I will!” Which I genuinely meant. I felt beyond honored and wished to savor the accomplishment but there was work to do so I went right back into interview mode and kept my composure.
Life changes all the time and you have to roll with the punches. That night changed my life in a lot of ways! I dreamed for so long to be recognized by an industry that I love. I work hard at what I do and winning this award made me feel validated and loved by all my peers. So many changes occur in life and we either go with them or we never succeed. I feel like I have truly succeeded, going on my fourth year in the business.
I mentioned in my last article that I have lost weight and to the date of this article have lost 50lbs. After winning my award and showing people the new me, a few doors opened for me; I shot for a site who said no in past, and girls have been emailing me left and right asking to shoot for me. Which is such a cool thing because later this year I am launching a new site dedicated to trans men and women, along with a whole DVD of me in action with trans men which is set to debut this summer on DVD and VOD. I am blessed to have worked so hard for my career and to be part of an amazing community of supporters. I had a dream and I never let other people bring my dreams down. I made them a reality and you can too!
Thank you for taking time to read my column, until next time stay safe and enjoy life. You can always find me on michelleaustinblog.com michelle-austin.com and follow me on twitter @tsmichelleausti, Facebook.com/tgirlmichelleaustin and Tumblr tsmichelleaustin.
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to ask any questions or to send me your stories. I’d love to hear from you! Much love,
2014 Tranny Award Winner “Voluptuous Diva”