Jessica And Hunter

AmazeBalls! Jessica And Hunter

Posted on Posted in Entertainment

By JC Gardiner and Marlayna Lacie

Long-time “BFF’s” and label whores to the end who thrive in their depraved, co-dependent friendship defined by cocktailing, shopping and celeb-stalking, JESSICA AND HUNTER personify everything marvelously loathsome and loveable about Los Angeles. Citing Kim Kardashian as their God and TMZ as their living bible, these two celebrity gossip junkies will stop at nothing to achieve their only goal of FAME IN HOLLWOOD. Like “Heidi and Spencer”, JESSICA AND HUNTER have a fierce yet witless determination to become famous and will stop at nothing to get to the top, regardless of their non-existent talent. Pathetic attempts at modeling, “leaked” sex tapes, botched plastic surgery, and drunken run-ins with the paparazzi are all fair game as they strive for redemption on a journey to make their childhood tormenters jealous and get on the cover of In Touch Weekly.
HUNTER, the intensely bronzed, fashion trend chasing party boy and JESSICA, his fruit-fly with a penchant for Louboutins and bubble-gum flavored vodka, leave no runway trend unturned upon strutting out into the world. They look as if the newest concept of Cirque du Soleil and TopShop threw up all over them, and they couldn’t be happier. With all the depth of a petri dish and the charm of a cold sore, JESSICA AND HUNTER storm the streets of Hollywood with their hysterically acerbic wit and slashing insults, desperately seeking celebrities to ambush and befriend.
Theirs is a friendship forged only in the hilariously shallow end of gay heaven. They qualify Pinkberry as a meal, acquire fashion inspiration at Britney Spears’ Hollywood star, bounce from d-list celebrity party to z-list after party, max out credit cards, drink their lunch and wage war with celebrity gossip bloggers, who steal their one of a kind brand of lingo…AMAZEBALLS!
JESSICA and HUNTER show their “lurve” for one another and their “besties” by hurling wildly inappropriate and politically incorrect insults that make even the most liberal gasp. (e.g. “You’re totes a failed lap band patient” and “What-evess, RuPaul’s Drag Race Reject, get botox”) If ignorance truly is bliss, then JESSICA AND HUNTER are living on cloud nine. In short, they are brazen, bold and bimbo-tastic. These fabulously rotten party monsters are an inventive incarnation of vapid and phenomenally decadent living.

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